Ryan
August 29, 2009 by hames-1977
I have forgotten
from long ago
on how I scribbled on my pad paper,
with my fat pencil. A namesake
I inherit
a birth right I shared
with Ryan,
a brother, no one has seen.
My twin.
Like Cain and Abel, we are
tender sprouted beings
casted like seeds in the field.
Which ones will survive?
Which ones will die?
Which ones will accept the fate?
And rooted, struggling,
ambling each other,
spacing out for survival.
Fighting to be the first,
drawing strength by its number.
I am weak. But he is brave
He is standing there, sizing up.
Leading power to his arms.
While I am left here, fidgeting
struggling to keep balance
with the world
in all its expectations.
Gradually and bitterly
time has come,
when it became a curse
to have a twin.
Sharing a name.
Sharing a space.
He is no longer-
a brother.
So I strangle him.
Drowned him to his obscurity.
Cut away his connecting cord
succumbing to his last breath.
I let Ryan
soaked and bleed there
to die, with his dear
imaginary life.
To claim solely
my birthright.
The story line is quite disturbing, Marvin.
A style of writing reminiscent of the black-feathered literary master Edgar Allan Poe.
It is said that the gauge to being an effective writer is how powerfully a writer affects his reader. This piece is a true testament to that statement and to your being a very effective writer.
Your continuous exploration of your range as a writer brought all these rich produce in your writing. You’re such a prolific writer, Marvin. But as a reader, I would still prefer reading your idyllic/pastoral poems where your voice speak the loudest and your effecacy as a writer is proven patent.
I wish you well.
~ Jeques
jeques,
thanks for your insights on this poem.
yes, i admire edgar allan poe, even up to this time, i love his short stories the best. yeah, once in a while, i explore some dark sides, i would want to test that realm. and also, i welcome being a prolific writer. but i will save that word when i would be able to produce writing pieces in a different genre-short story, essay, play etc. this is my ultimate dream.
about the subject, ryan is my second name. i am originally marvin ryan, when before my graduation day at high school, i was forced to drop the second name at the expense of alligning with my birth records, to which in my surprise, ryan is not there in my baptismal certificate.
how distraught i am! i really love being called ryan. so i experimented this event into this poetry. and voila- a very good result. now i have something immortalized, that would endear my second name-ryan to me for the longest possible time.
i even used this name for a pseudonym during my college writing days. the inverted name “an ry”. i have an anecdote on how the university editorial board search for the writer of the poetry being submitted to them with a pen name of an ry.
my brother, who happens to be a bosom buddy of one of the editors, divulged that an ry is actually his brother. hahahaha. that is how my disguising times end. and eventually my being reluctant to write publicly was thrown out into the open.
just for laughs. an ry can become an g ry. hahaha. that’s why i discontinued using it all together. but i will missed forever being an ry. or ryan for that matter.
best of times,
marvin