Tickets
June 24, 2009 by hames-1977
Today, he waits
at the station, searching through
the window panes. And soon
he’ll run along, chasing
shadows to his past.
The train became a home
to a lover. A wanderer of days-
exiled to traveling distances.
An evacuee amidst
the maze of constant strangers.
A thought, he is keeping-
of a woman he lost.
That last glimpse returning,
as she boarded a train-
happily blew him a kiss.
But she never came back.
He hopes while staring into the horizon
daydreaming. As life pulling apart
the images of her face.
He never rest.
Recording the miles-
a solitary journey, he keeps
a knapsack filled
with tear-drenched tickets
by his side.
Tomorrow, is a beginning
of another lonely day,
running along with trains.
And pay for a small token-
sojourning memories.
I am chased by images of trains and train stations lately.
Yesterday, I attended a poetry and piano recital concert at chicago’s historical St. James Cathedral and the poet recited his poems with the backdrop of traveling the city by a train passing through many train stations in the city.
As I’ve mentioned earlier, I have this poetry idea that’s in my head for a long time with the backdrop of the scenery in a train station. It is great to read and listen to poems with this imagery as I shape the poem in my head. Last year, before summer ended, I wrote this poem that briefly used and flashed imagery of summer train:
Summer, Gone
by: Jeques, 2008
You came to bring me summer sunshine,
You left to leave me autumn gloom.
Like a speeding train,
Summer came
And Gone.
-
What happened to the vibrant days,
Where have my sunshine gone?
-
Why do the clouds just suddenly
Hid you?
My smile, don’t fade away
Please no!
-
Why do you have to give up
Your sunny yellow ~
Have I not brought
Your life some bright lights,
Why do we have to go apart
In blue?
-
Would the evening light
Sustain us
In this changing season,
Would it ease
The growing yearning
With its subdued
Glow?
-
I rest my heart
In this lonely season.
But I would keep our paths
Clear
Of grass growths.
-
May the railroad
That took you away
Would lead you
Back.
And when you’re tired
Chasing the changing seasons,
You could always return
To an endless
Summer ~
Here in my resolute
Heart.
—
I like how you put together the many strong elements of traveling by the train that gave this piece the human drama that the everyday people could easily connect. The poem takes the reader to the place and tag along the trail of your thoughts, feeling the emotion, sharing the sentiments and the reader becomes that traveler.
Powerfully done, Marvin.
The title “ticket” is aptly chosen. Reminds me of a piece I clipped from a long narrative:
“I see a hotel-room key, a metro ticket and a hundred franc note folded in four, like objects brought back by a space probe sent to earth to study how earthlings live, travel and trade with one another. The sight leaves me pensive and confused. Does the cosmos contain keys for opening up my cocoon? A metro line with no terminus? a currency strong enough to buy my freedom back? We must keep looking. I’ll be off now.”
Notice how the writer used the elements to move his thoughts forward - very clever!
The aptly chosen elements in this poem, the details, how you used them is clever, too. How you used them to move your thoughts forward taking your readers on a ride by a train in a sad tempo.
I wish you well.
~ Jeques
jeques,
as ever, happiness fills my page whenever you drop your valuable comments in regards to my work. your poem Summer, Gone is one of the best poem i have read from your collection. it was the first poem i have graced in your page back then, and it struck in me so many beautiful inspirations. i have never forgotten the photographs you have attached there, which were aptly interspersed with your smooth flowing verses. oh your poem is so dramatic, and my tears right begin to well. it was so poignant and i can’t understand why im getting sad whenever i see the train in the backdrop of the nimbus clouds.
actually the idea for this poem, i have referenced from one of your comments in my poem Paint The Words- about the train and your friend. but initially, i intend to cast a child searching for a mother. a scene set during the holocaust. but instead, i changed my mind and set two people in the lover’s tragedy of love lost.
but the poem has struggled to find its way like this. is it true, sometimes, we as writer, intend to do something in mind but end up written into another? sometimes i just let my poem find its way, how it will evolve in its own immortality.
i will ask permission too, to use one line of your poem Summer, Gone- “but i would keep our paths clear of grass growths”. this line has a deeper meaning for me.
thanks for your inspiring words.
best of times,
marvin
Marvin,
With regards to your curious thoughts about poems taking their own shapes far from what we thought of them initially? that happened to me many times in many poems that i have written starting from a certain point and arriving to destinations unexpected. Poems have souls of their own, and we become just their medium to transmit their messages they wanted to speak.
Same with my paintings, they come to me in certain images, but when I’m infront the canvas, I allow them to take their forms and colors.
Poems or paintings, we only fully understand and recognize their true meaning when they are already in pages and or in canvas. And have you not noticed, some poems doesn’t really end when they are written, some of them evolve and take another form to further express their complete message - could be in a sequel or in a whole new poem.
I’m curious how you are going to use the line:
“but i would keep our paths clear of grass growths” from my poem summer, gone. I’m interested to see how it would evolve in another poet’s mind, in another poet’s heart.
I wish you well.
~ Jeques
again…i can not just leave without saying a thing…..
so beautifully written, i wanted to chase the train…
i have a poem akin to a love that waits in vain…
TRIP TO FOREVER
The old woman goes there everyday
Waits in vain
Even if she knows yah she is waiting in vain
But she patiently sits there,on the same spot everyday
Everyday without fail…..
She would gaze at the blue sky and laugh alone
Then shed tears….that will always fall on the same spot
On her lower lip
The salty taste of it will mingle with the smile
That never fails to shine
When she remembers that the one she waits for
Has long been gone
And she would every time ask herself
Why the smile?
And she would answer with the same thing every time
The end of something is better than its beginning
Then she would silently retrace her steps
Walk towards home
And mumble silently a name from long ago
Her walking stick would guide her through the way
She would trip once in a while
But she vows to go there again tomorrow
Until all the morrows fade away….
….we have the power to make our characters happy and give each poem a happy ending but in truth, like songs, the best poems are those that deal with a broken heart…weird but to me, it is true he he he…
jeques,
i agree with your observations- that some poem just don’t end and it begs to be written more. they take into another form and another time but the symbolism and the message is connected to another. it seems like-poems have a life of their own. thanks for your wonderful thoughts.
best of times,
marvin
zen,
your poem Trip to Forever is a positive response to my poem. the old woman in your poem is a brave and firm person, who never fail to remember her love. the heart never forget, it has a way to remember and etch each memory in the recesses of the heart.
i understand that my poems are sad, but i see in them the truth. the images are clearer. the moments are pure. i would want also to write something about happy endings. but sometimes happy endings is left for the person to accept that some good things never last. remembering them is enough.
more power to your writing.
best of times,
marvin